Me yapping away

Vincent's journal

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Welcome to my blog spot, lowkey just crashing out here whenever I feel like it.



Idk today I'm kinda frustrated. Not sure why but I just am??? All I can think about is relapsing... but thats the last thing I'm trying to do. I've been enjoying T-shirt freedom. Ig a cool thing is that I have a nice new friend who has links to Tom Bailey and Nick Beggs (my favesss!!!) She is very super duper nice and actually listens to me, asks lots of questions back. A lot of older people I tend to befriend can get quite self centered... and forget it's a two way convo. Maybe I'm meeting the wrong ones?? Well, thats not just an old people thing anyway, I know plenty of people my age who do the exact same thing. very tiring stuff. Yawn. I wish I could be on my own website more but my laptop being so laggyyyy. Luckily, I think I resolved that issue (for now.) I also cannot sleep goshhh. I unintentionally saw this terrifying video and it keeps looping in my head. Everything is bothering me so so bad but things will settle down. Maybe.



It's been a second since I've been on synthweb. Mainly cos A. I have no energy and B. my laptop started getting really buggy with all the mods I added. I'm very sad that I had to delete a lot of them to speed up my laptop again. At first I kept the taskbar and icons, deleted everything else, but it was still slowing it down. It did forced restarts/shut downs... so I had to let it all go. I'm so tired. I hate having to keep up with everyday life. But it is what it is. Everything triggers me but it is not like I can show that. Pretty pissed also cos capcut made it a premium feature to export. Ig no more memes or edits from me, idk. Tried to make a strawpage but the page kept refreshing. I've also started becoming afraid of embracing things people have gotten me into. What if they leave and I can't enjoy it anymore. better to be safe the sorry ig.



hmmm, it's somewhat early for me to be doing a blog post for the next day... its only 00:44 am, but I think I give up. There's only so much of life I can force my way through... so I think this is it for me. The last few times I chickened out really bad, but I need to stop being so scared and just get it over with. I would add more but that's just corny.



So yeah... I'm doing this again but more regulated. Using my blog was always a great distraction... so it's good to be back on synthweb again. Currently making a video on the process I use to make external pages. Keeping my mind as busy as a bee. Constantly editing and posting to a private spam is a good way that I pulled out my ass to keep everything together... I think. Just typing this down for the video really, so if I wanna write something legit it might come later in the day.